A-Level results came out today. Which takes me back 10 years to when I got mine. A Levels were a simpler time when life should have been fun and carefree and exciting, but we all thought things were exceptionally complicated and we all had it so hard. I wish I could go back and tell my 18 year old self what I know now.
I kept a diary during my A Level Year and here are some extracts from it:-
18 March 2002
"I just cannot believe the drama showcase is tomorrow. My last ever one. I've done four showcases now and played a pyschopathic, murderous barber called Claus, a lesbian, the mother of a beetle and some camp guy who ends up being crowned king cos everyone else is dead. Wickedness.
After this, what will happen to our drama group? Seven of us: One is going into science, one into dance, one to Australia, one into media and three into drama. We so better meet up twice a year and have reunions...in Covent Garden where we can dress up in ivy and do street theatre!!"
22 March 2002
"I hope the examiner gave me an A. I got an A last year and I didn't think I deserved one then. I got 111 out of 120 for the performance module. I really hope shes given me an A. Thing is, I think my performance last night was a bit dead. I was standing backstage all ready to go out there and give it some welly but I never really got round to the welly bit. Maybe a small sock. Yeah thats right, I gave it some small sock."
21 April 2002
"I just wrote a whole essay for Media in 25 minutes flat. I didn't even look at my notes...wahey. Its a bit crap. Its not proper coursework, which explains why it was so bloody easy. Mr D has had a nose job. His nose is all straight and shiny and he's got two black eyes. Its not attractive. Also he seems to be in a perpeptual bad mood which shouldn't be the case at all. I mean, theres starving babies in China and Mr D is privelidged enough to have access to as much cosmetic surgery as he wants and he's in a fucking bad mood and blaming everything on us. Even though actually we don't do any work, and are a bunch of smart arses. Thats just a detail though. We had an argument last week about how the Buscemi of Steve Buscemi shouldbe pronounced, when we were supposed to be having an informed and mature discussion about Kilroy. F**cking Kilroy. I watched his show the other week so I would have something to say if I had to. It was the most boring thing. No transvestites or men with their large intestines hooked up to their esophagus's anywhere."
26 April 2002
"Hehe. I wore my banana tee shirt to school. In years time, when our Year 13 picture is hung up outside the office and people look at it they will see a girl in the back row with an insanely false grin, and a big yellow banana on a jet black background. Or perhaps they will miss me and look at the beautiful people. Thats probably what I would do."
14 May 2002
"Ooh I have to write down the song I just made up instead of revising. It goes to the tune of 'You are my sunshine'.
I AM STUPID
SO VERY STUPID
I'M GOING TO POKE ALL MY EYES OUT
ONE BY ONE
AND WHEN I'VE FINISHED
YES, WHEN I'VE FINISHED
I'M GOING TO EAT MY OWN FACE
RAH RAH RAH RAH. "
18 May 2002
"End of school T-Minus two weeks. Hooray! I have a game plan for when that lovely lovely day comes. I'm going to quit cleaning and get a full time job for the summer. I'm going to join an aerobics or step aerobics class at The Spa or some other exercise class (but not the gym cos I lost my card) I'm going to revise, I'm going to see my friends and Ciaran, I'm going to go to the pub whenever Leon or Ciaran or b asks me to, I'm going to start writing my terrible poetry again, I'm going to shop for Cornwall, I'm going to do more housework and I'm going to read books. Lots of books."*
15 August 2002
"Well its over and at least we all know now.
I did pretty good, ABB. The A is in Media. This seems to be unexpectedly where my talents lie. Huh. Fancy. Anyway, Winchester is a definite thing now. Same for Sarah and Kate. Most people got into their first choice. Its still a bit up in the air for some. Whew. I guess theres a lot to do over the next month. One things for sure though, I'm not even gonna start thinking about it all until after Reading. Ciaran got AAC. And he didn't revise. he told me on the phone and I have to admit I screamed 'WHAT?' in the middle of the pub. He is a bit of a genius though. And I am very proud."
30 August 2002
"But today was better. Mum and me went Uni shopping and I bought a Clangers pencil case! A Clangers pencil case! Shaped like a Clanger! Its either really good or really sad but either way it will be a talking point. Like, everyone on my course will come up and ask me about my pencil case and say its really great or really pathetic and then I will make millions of new friends! Wahey! Ahem. Its not a great plan. But no matter. And I bought a big folder with stick-of-rock stripy patterns all over it...and a pink notebook with a cow on it! And a matching pencil...and some jumbo Crayola crayons because you can't go to Uni without crayons can you? And some cow stickers and...well, just because we've grown up doesn't mean we have to carry around one pen and thats it for the rest of our lives. And then we went to Virgin and bought a CD rack and a Resevoir Dogs poster and a Clangers poster. In terms of essential items it wasn't the most productive day but hey ho. Mum showed me all the pots and pans and stuff shes bought me the other day and she teared up and it was quite sad really."
4 September 2002
"Got my TV license.
Got my accomodation.
Got my insurance.
Got my bank account.
Got my bank account.
Got my loan (nearly).
Got my passport (I'm told that Winchester is, in fact, not overseas though).
Got my passport photos.
Got my saucepans.
Right, I'm off then.
Oh okay, on second thoughts I'll just sit around here for three more weeks. "
7 September 2002
"Everything is sad at the moment! Everything. Everyone is leaving. I suppose it will be worse for those who are staying here but at the moment I feel very miserable. It feels like, this is it. I'm standing on the edge of a precipice, a divide, looking across at whats on the other side. There isn't anyone there that I recognise. I just want to stay here forever. When will I see my friends again? Will they still be my friends? I'm not ready for this. And I don't think I'll ever make such good friends as the ones I've got now. I didn't think it was possible for anyone to be like me, to have the same sense of humour and be happy sitting around talking about crap and doing dances with their elbows. Who will I ever find again who will do that? What if there isn't anybody like that out there and in order to make friends I have to revert to being normal? Just sitting in the pub of an evening instead of sitting in a pub watching four of my friends lined up on a sofa doing the greased lightning dance or having lets-throw-these-bits-of-paper-into-each-others-glasses fights. "
2 October 2002
"I've come down with 'freshers flu' and I can't breathe. I had the longest lie in so far today which I think got rid of it a bit but I have to go into town in a mo to get my vitamins...oh and also some food because I've run out! I dyed my hair this morning and now the bathroom is pink. I've got loads of stuff to write but right now I can't actually be bothered. Last night me, Dan and Jess went round next door and much drinking, junk food scoffing and watching of scary films occured. We watched Long TIme Dead and wet ourselves. 'Next door' is Kate, Taz, b, Vikki, Anna, EmJ (who reminds me of Mel) and Jo. Taz, Vikki and b especially are completely the same sort of person as me (casual, happy to stay in of an evening and eat drink and be merry, same sens eof humour etc) and so I reckon we get on well. They don't mind us coming over all the time either because Jess is SO loud and just provides the entertainment constantly. Its really odd, I've never met anyone with so much energy before. She called me Christingle today which I thought was impressive considering I've never told anyone any of my nicknames."
*I did very few of these things, except the terrible poetry, which was actually terrible.